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NEVER ENDING JUDGMENTS.......

{This is my personal experience, which I observed while attending a wedding. There is no purpose of hurting sentiments of any generation.

I strongly believe that every generation has its own advantages and loopholes. My goal for this blog is simply to share my experience at an Indian wedding, which I recently attended where I discovered numerous examples of how easy it is to judge someone}



days back, I attended a wedding. It was a destination wedding and an inter-cast love marriage. Yes, so basically this marriage has everything that a Bollywood drama movie requires.

So I was very excited to attend this wedding as it was a kind of wedding with a vacation for me. It was also my first experience of attending a destination wedding and also a love marriage. I was super excited to see the couple. As I always believe, in an arranged marriage you feel a sense of responsibility and you have a lot to explore about each other, but in a love marriage you have known each other for a very long time and with all your strengths and weaknesses, you accept each other and are ready to take one step forward in your relationship, so you glow differently.

So we were given a grand welcome. We were overwhelmed with their gestures. My eyes were searching for a glimpse of a couple, and when I saw them, my first expression was, "Woo, they look so fresh and perfect as they were complementing each other."

we were all ready for the first function, and as the function continued, I saw so many judgments of people around me. some I have discussed and some I left as if had to discuss all the blog will never end....




1) the bride is looking older than the groom. Couldn't he find someone of the same age? She is definitely going to be dominating.

My stand on this judgement is that it's OK to observe the age gap, but I have seen this age gap as an issue only when women are


older than men, and in 90 percent of the cases when men are older than women. Nobody says, oh, the groom is older than the bride, and he will be dominant over the poor bride. honestly, age is just a number and there is nothing like a word dominating in a relationship because we are talking about a marriage and this is a union of two people , their mutual understanding. It is a personal choice of a person with whom they want to spend their life with.



What was more surprising to me was that groom's mother was saying to someone in a low voice, "Don't tell anyone that the bride is older than groom" and I was like, "What? Why? does this even matter ? I mean, she's going to be your daughter-in-law, and you've accepted her wholeheartedly, so why are you embarrassed that she's older than your son? I mean, in the future, you will also witness more people gossiping that your daughter-in-law looks older, so instead of hiding this, you should be proud of your son's choice and tell people that yes, she is older and I know they will look after each other. they are mature enough to support each other.....



2) At the same time, they were debating whether love marriages should be permitted in the another cast.

I mean, it's a love marriage, right, so love doesn't need to have a cast boundary. What matters is that two beautiful people from different cultures have come together and we are going to witness the fusion of two different cultures. I mean, that's what our country is, right? It is a fusion of different religions, cultures, and traditions.



3) What can a woman drink at these events?

I don't drink, but that's my personal choice, but I never judge people who drink, as according to me Alcohol is a personal choice yes it affects me when a person does something inappropriate after drinking that he/she shouldn't. In villages also, I have seen many old women drinking alcohol, but nobody questioned them because they were old and it was treated as a friendly gesture for old woman to drink any kind of drinks. I am not supporting drinking habits as I have already mentioned that its clearly a personal choice and you should know the age when you are allowed to and moreover when you can handle it.

I saw a woman, she was 24 or 25, according to me. She was wearing a dress . I don't know exactly what we call that dress, but she was looking stunning. She was enjoying drinks with her brothers in the bar section at wedding. Many uncles were saying, "Look at that girl, that's what her parents taught her, but when I saw her, what my eyes saw was an independent, well-behaved woman who was having fun with her cousins and they were enjoying drinks to celebrate the wedding. I know it's still hard to accept for many people that a woman drink, and it's totally OK to find it hard to digest, but is it good to judge a woman on just one Parameter that she drinks? And also, I saw many boys of the same age drinking along with her but found zero comments on their drinking. so why were they not questioned about their drinking in such functions openly?

4) The boy seems too young to get married. Is he doing a job or is he settled or not?

groom was blessed with good genes to look younger than his age, which confused many guests about his age, so guests were very much concerned about his future plans or whether he was settled or not. But have you seen such people who see a young bride and ask, "Oh, the bride seems so young. Has she completed her studies? What are her future plans?" All I have heard is "oh very nice, it's good to get married at young for girls" but no one is interested in even asking about her age or her studies or is she settled? But when the groom was looking young, everyone was way too concerned what an irony right?

you all must be wondering, did I enjoy the wedding or was I only busy spotting these social issues? Well, I enjoyed a lot at this wedding as it was an inter-cast marriage, so I enjoyed different different traditions, their rituals, food, and above all, I enjoyed seeing a strong and lovely couple who were all set to kickstart a new chapter of their life.

{closing this blog with my words that life is unpredictable and it's OK to respect every generation , its ok to like or dislike new changes and judge less because you never know that your casual judgement could be harmful to someone, so spread love and acceptance. I always believe that like software is updated, so is the update of a generation. You may love some changes and some not, but don't judge. What you like, accept it, and what you don't leave, may be it's not easy for you to accept and its totally but lets not be hard on others and Ourselves too. LIVE &LET LIVE}


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